I Am Scientific

I don't know about you, but I am scientific. I believe in the superiority of science. I believe that you don't need reasons for things, like what Christians claim. That's why I am really enjoying this little book by Immanuel Kant. Even though he was a Christian, he knew somehow that these idiotic people in the Middle Ages were crazy, because they thought up actual logical reasons for believing in God. Absurd! Everybody knows that believing in God is illogical. That's why I believe in Science and Progress. And I love scientists today, because they are so smart and they know so much more about everything than people before them, that they don't even need to get caught up in reasons for things. They already know these things and they help the rest of us wake up to reality and forget about archaic notions like God.

What I love about science is that any good scientist believes in the Big Bang Theory. What's really awesome about that is that scientists have proven that the law of inertia was created after the Big Bang Theory. Because something (or anything, or everything) came out of nothing by Chance, the law of inertia was developed right after it. In other words, before the Big Bang, an object that was standing still or didn't exist could still move or change its makeup without the interference of another object. But the cool thing about the Big Bang is that it changed all that. After the Big Bang, you have the law of inertia, which basically says that an object that is standing still can't move unless acted on by another object.

So, what I really love about the Big Bang is that it can actually create new scientific laws. Better to study science than study the Bible, because at least Science can create stuff from scratch. That's why I always tell these Christians that the Big Bang is even more powerful than their God is, because even God can't change a law like inertia or gravity. But the Big Bang is so powerful that even if a law like inertia existed before it, it just slammed its fist on the table and overrode that law for the benefit of producing cool stuff like a cell, which is totally scientific anyway. See, even God can't do that. That's why I get so tired of Christians talking about miracles like Intelligent Design. Because scientists are so powerful that they can teach us about things like the Big Bang that are even more extraordinary and phenomenal than some Intelligent Design crap. That's peanuts compared to real science. That's like The Watchmen taking on the Thunder Cats. You know the Thunder Cats are going down cause The Watchmen don't necessarily play by the book. And that makes Science more exciting.